Gemini's Journey

Exciting

Things go well. And this is good. Sure, life is stressful. But I'm managing to stay afloat and right now, that's a lot! :)

Friday we met a wonderful woman. She's gorgeous! And smart and funny. Easy to talk to and get along with. Of course is this all first impressions. It will be very interesting to see where this leads. I'm intrigued. Jordan can't stop talking about her. And it's all in good ways.

We're both excited to be traveling on this new journey together and to share ourselves with someone else and with each other. I think the biggest thing is sharing together.

The business goes, slowly, but it goes and will grow and form. The key for myself right now is not rushing. It's a hobby, it's a dream and it will be obtained, just not over night.

And now we head into the busy time of year. At least I think so. Samhain is around the corner! I'm going to Utah for an extended weekend to visit my sister and her family. And then a huge to-do at work for Halloween, dressing up, contests on the 29th. A Halloween party the 30th and Samhain on the 31st. 

For me Samhain is a day of honoring our loved ones who no longer walk this earth. This year will be exceptionally difficult because my mother passed away this past March. This is the night when the veil is thinnest. I long to hear her voice. To feel her  touch. To just know that although she is no longer here, that she is still with me.

This was her favorite time of year. The weather changing. The Halloween decorations followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas. I now carry with me the same love for decorating during this time of year. I no longer celebrate Christmas, as a Christian Holiday, but rathe Yule, as a pagan holiday.

Here's to a crisp chill winter and warm comforting hearth. May your hearth glow with love and peace. May we turn inwards in these darker months and discover anew ourselves.

Growing into myself

I'm about to embark on a journey into my core. My relationship is growing in ways that I hadn't thought about much before. With the leaving of one partner and I being the main (We're polyamorus.) things change. But these are good changes. I've discovered that I'm secure enough in my relationship that sharing with others would be wonderful. To share and explore the multi levels of sexuality and passion and just good fun safe sex. It's amazing what he and I have and if we can share that with others, spread the love and show people that they are truly worth being loved, the more the better.

I am by no means perfect. Lots of evidence to back that up. But I want to share what I've learned from my mistakes, and possibly help others from making the same thing. There are those out there that don't think they are worth being loved, or that the abusive/one way relationship is the only kind they'll ever deserve. Not true. Not true by a long shot. But until someone takes their hand and shows them something different, they'll never know.

It's a scary road. There are a lot of what-ifs involved. Fears. Concerns. But if there is one thing we've learned from the year and a half we've been together, it's that as long as we're open and honest with each other we'll be ok. Conversations have started with "This may sound bad but..." "I know you don't want to talk about it but I need to say this just so it'll stop bouncing around in my head...." And sometimes we'll talk about it, and other times we'll both know that it's been said out loud and there are no secrets.

The only secrets I ever want to keep are the good ones and that's because it's a surprise and the other will find out soon enough. "SURPRISE!"

So here's to new adventures. Not letting my fears and insecurities keep me from enjoying what I have and what I want to do. I'm thankful to be in a relationship with a man that makes me feel comfortable with who I am. Who understands that he may not be able to meet all my needs all the time, and vice versa, but we'll work together to make sure we're both happy. Our jobs may be rough and the real world might get in the way, but when it comes to our personal lives, we're going to do our best to enjoy ourselves and be happy.